THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE

"Well after this I should think nothing of falling down stairs."

HIGH SCHOOL



This is how to run a stick of Chapstick
down the black boxes on your scantron
so the grading machine skips the wrong
answers. This is how to honor roll. Hell,
this is how to National Honor Society.
This is being voted “Most Likely to Marry
for Money” or “Talks the Most, Says the
Least” for senior superlatives. This is
stepping around the kids having panic
attacks in the hallway. This is being the
kid having a panic attack in the hallway.
This is making the A with purple moons
stamped under both eyes. We had to try.
This is telling the ACT supervisor you have
ADHD to get extra time. Today, the average
high school student has the same anxiety
levels as the average 1950’s psychiatric
patient. We know the Pythagorean theorem
by heart, but short-circuit when asked
“How are you?” We don’t know. We don’t
know. That wasn’t on the study guide.
We usually know the answer, but rarely
know ourselves.

HIGH SCHOOL By Blythe Baird (via blythebrooklyn)

(via thekaleidoscopeeffect)

bagmilk:

when your waiter comes out with food but it’s for another table

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Lol

(via finding-hans)

evannabadasslovegood:

I don’t know if anyone remembers this picture from right after Tangled Ever After came out of Rapunzel and Flynn’s beauuuuuuuutiful rings:

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Welllllllll, I got married about six weeks ago and here are our rings!

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Yes, that’s right, we found a jeweler willing to make the Tangled rings for us.

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trehugger:

today in history class this kid said something about how women belong in the kitchen and my teacher freaked out and he made all the girls in the class write down “at 1:04pm on wednesday november 7th 2012, nick has been blacklisted” and now we’re not allowed to talk to the kid until he comes into class with the 17 apology letters that he’s being forced to write to every girl in the class

i love my history teacher

(via thekaleidoscopeeffect)